You should have showed up for breakfast today.  It was just Francis and myself at the table.  Jim left early to go to Bethesda Hospital where he volunteers twice a week.  He fixes their medical equipment for them and they love him.  Doris is sick.  Guy was in town trying to rent chairs for our big party on Saturday.  So it was just our cook, Francis and myself.  We lingered at the table for an hour and a half.  The discussion was rich.  We talked about the importance in putting God first in your choice of a mate and in every aspect of your marriage.  We swapped stories of marriages that we know where things have gone very wrong.  And then we talked about other marriages that have been brought back from the brink.  So many girls are desperate to get married and will make all sorts of compromises to achieve their goal.  They ignorantly think marriage is the be all to end all and that having kids is a prerequisite to happiness.  Little to they realize until it is too late that marriage to the wrong guy is a living hell.  We both agreed that there is a great need for instruction on how to be married, after you say "I do".  So many make mistakes that, though small to begin with, can end in divorce.  

There was the pastor who wanted his new wife to attend all the meetings at church (and they had one meeting or another seven days a week!) plus keep house, do the market shopping, wash cloths and iron them, have nice meals ready for him when he comes home, etc.  She came to me just desperate.  They had been married 3 months and 9 days she said, and she didn't know how she could keep it up.  To top it off, she was pregnant.  We began praying together once a week (we don't live in the same town but we can talk to the same God at the same time and thus be united in prayer).  I've been phoning her regularly to check up on her and to encourage her.  We always knew that if nothing else worked, we would invite this dear couple to come to Shiloh for a marriage retreat.  It would be our gift to them.  But she phoned a couple of days ago, filled with joy.  She reported that things are going so much better now.  Her husband has changed.  He's learned that his wife cannot do everything at the church and everything at the home, too.  So often it's just ignorance.  A lack of teaching and training.  And so few good role models.

We could tell lots of stories about marriages we have helped.  We try to get to them before they are in trouble.  We also do pre-marital counseling.  Everything is always rosy and wonderful.  We try to bring them into a more realistic position.

In January I will be speaking to a group of couples at a local church.  We've been planning this for the past five months.  I'm looking forward to having an open and transparent talk with them.  People are always surprised that Jim and I still struggle in our marriage.  Nobody is perfect.  Not until we get to Heaven.