Joseph is working tonight.  Normally it is his night off.  But he requested to have Sunday night off instead.  His father has called a family meeting and he must be there.  The family head of any family can call a meeting whenever they want to.  Attendance is not optional.  They meet to address problems and solve problems. 

We can have family meetings, too.  Normally we have a meal and a meeting with our team and their spouses before we travel.  We formally turn over Shiloh to Guy.

But on Feb. 6th of this year we had a family meeting via an email.  It was after the big theft when Doris and Joseph almost lost their lives.  We were in America.  Guy had been keeping us informed.  Things were tense.  Nadege, Joseph's wife was mad at Doris because she gave the drink containing the drug to her husband to drink.  Doris was barely speaking to Joseph because he let the three grandmothers in the house. And nobody was listening to Guy as he tried to bring order out of chaos.  It was time to address the problem.  And so we wrote the following:

"Dear Doris, Joseph, and Nadege, plus Guy,Francis,  and Donald,
Greetings from America.  It is time for me to sit down and talk with all of you.  Papa Jim and I have kept quiet until now, but I cannot keep quiet any longer.  We are not happy with how you are behaving as a result of the horrible incident that we have all been through.

First of all I want to talk to Doris.  I do not blame you for not being happy with Joseph for opening the gate without permission.  What he did was wrong.  And I will talk directly to him soon.  But Doris you must forgive him.  You don't have any other choice.  That is what God wants you to do.  You are to love your enemies, do good to those who do bad to you.  Joseph is really NOT your enemy.  We are to forgive others so God can forgive us.  And if you do not forgive him, eventually you will become bitter and then you will no longer be useful for the Kingdom.  So forgive him.  It does not matter if he deserves to be forgiven or does not deserve to be forgiven.  Forgive him out of obedience to God and for your own sake.  Even if he never asks you to forgive him, you need to forgive him anyway.  You are the stronger Christian.  Don't let the devil pull you away from God.  We are in a battle.  The enemy hates us.  He wants to destroy everything we are doing for our King.  Don't let the enemy use you.  That is all I want to say to you.  Never forget that we love you very much.  And Guy will be replacing your salary if he has not already done so.  You will not suffer financially because of the theft.  We are counting on you to be godly.  Don't disappoint us.

Next I want to talk to Joseph.  What you did was very foolish.  We have told you many times that if someone comes without our knowing they will be coming, you are never to open the gate after dark without letting us know who is there and we will take the decision about opening the gate or not opening the gate.  You do not have the authority to do what you did and you know that very well.  You do not have the authority to give people a tour of Shiloh.  That has never been a part of your job.  You do have a responsibility to guard us against thieves.  If you had followed our clear training, you would not have had to suffer almost to the point of death.  None of this would have happened if you had only done your job.  Many, many people would fire you for what you have done.  We are not going to fire you.  But we want you to understand that when your boss tells you to do something or not to do something, and then you disobey clear directions (and Joseph whether you remember it or not, each of us have told you this several times) God calls that sin.  The Minister of Labor calls that a "faut grave"  (Sorry I do not spell French) and they would support us firing you.  But we are even more concerned about what God has to say.  You need to admit that you have sinned against God and against Doris in particular, and against all of us.  It would be very good if you were to confess your sin as sin and ask forgiveness of each of us, but especially Doris.  Your sin almost cost you your life.  Obedience to the authority God has put over you gives you great protection.  Disobedience leaves you exposed to all sorts of problems, as you now know.  Removing you from your job is the farthest thing from our minds.  But we do want you to learn this difficult lesson and never forget it for the rest of your life.  God has given you another chance at life.  This incident could so easily have cost you your life.  God wants you to grow in grace and in the knowledge of Him.  I am going to be very blunt with you.  You are a child of God, but you are a baby Christian.  It is time for you to get serious in your walk with God and to begin to grow up in Him.  Don't waste this opportunity.  Don't remain a baby Christian.  Run to Jesus.  Let Him transform your life and make you ever more useful for His honor and glory.  Joseph we have been praying for you in this area of your life since before we left Cameroon.  We are expecting great things from you.  Do not disappoint us.

And now a word for Nadege.  I am personally very disappointed with you.  You are acting like a child.  You are a mature adult.  You are a Bible school graduate.  You are without excuse.  You have no business being upset with Doris for giving the drink to your husband.  You are upset with her in an attempt to cover up the very real sin your husband committed.  You are acting like an unbeliever, not like a child of God.  Nadege you must forgive Doris for what she did.  Everything I have said to her about forgiving your husband applies equally to you.  You have no other choice.  If you do not forgive her, you will not only ruin your own life, you will ruin our ministry at Shiloh.  We cannot permit you to do this.  Let us be very clear on this, if you choose to continue to harbor bitterness in your heart towards Doris, you will eventually be responsible for your husband loosing his job.  We do not want that to happen, but you can force us to do that.  Be very careful.  Please Nadege, we are begging you, run to God.  Confess your sinful feelings towards Doris as sin.  Then turn to Doris and forgive her for what she did.  She was not sinning as we understand it.  She did something very foolish, but we do not see it as sin.  But you are sinning when you have a rift in your relationship with her over this incident.  Another thing we want to talk to you about is Guy's authority during our absence.  We made it very clear in our family meeting and dinner before we traveled that HE HAS FULL AUTHORITY.  We have complete confidence in him.  When he contacted you and told you the doctor wanted Joseph back in the hospital, you have one choice.  You must submit to Guy's authority in this situation.  You do not have the right to undermine his authority.  I don't care if Joseph is your husband.  You are out of line.  Please my sister, I am only talking to you very sternly because I love you.  I desire the very, very best for you.  Don't run away from discipline.  Accept this correction in the way it is intended.  Grow from this experience.  Become more useful for the Kingdom.  Be an example of godliness to all those around you.  Let your light shine brightly.  Don't waste this opportunity that God has brought into your life.  Please don't disappoint me any further.

Donald.  Dear Donald.  How we praise God for you.  Thank you so very, very much for being willing to fill in for Joseph.  We know this is not the kind of work you would choose to do, but we are so grateful that you are willing to serve our Master in humility.  You are a strong example to us.  We love you more than ever.

Please, each of you, don't do anything to make Guy's burden greater.  Pull together.  Start acting and looking like God's precious children.  Stop acting like the world.  Look for ways to help Guy. 

We love each of you and we wish we were with you.  In fact we would love to get on the next plane and come home, but we cannot.  We continue to pray for you.

With all our love and our prayers,
Papa Jim and Mama Alice"

 

The results were immediate and  long lasting.  Joseph stood and said he wanted to ask Papa Jim and Mama Alice to forgive him.  And our whole team, too.  But mostly he wanted Doris to forgive him.  Next it was Doris who stood and asked Joseph to forgive her.  From that day onward they both have grown enormously spiritually.  Guy was so grateful for the change in everyone.

 

Maybe you should try a family meeting when problems arise.  Just a thought.