They invited me to eat the evening meal with them.  I've lived in Cameroon long enough to know that "Why thank you," was the only appropriate answer.  Twelve ladies scrunched tighter together around the table to make room for this American grandmother.  While they were honored to have me in their midst, I was not the focus of their time together.  When they handed me a plate full of, I don't even know what it's called, I was doing a lot of praying.  Whatever it was was sort of slimy, with these short, cigar shaped things in it.  The taste was interesting, to put it politely.  And hot.  As in H-O-T hot!  We're talking fire food here.  But again, my good upbringing, coupled with many years of being a missionary, came to my rescue.  I knew that if I was to have any credibility with these ladies, to eat what was set before me, to eat it all, and to eat it with a good attitude, was my only option.  Situations like this really improve ones prayer life.

Twelve ladies sat around the table at Shiloh, competing with each other to see who could talk the most while devouring their favorite food.  It was all in Pidgin English.  Everyone was talking and laughing at once.  The white grandmother was the only quiet one at the table.  Not understanding much of what she was hearing, she didn't even know enough to laugh at the appropriate moment.

 Finally the meal was over.  We were lingering over cups of tea when someone suggested we discuss the movie War Room, which we had watched that afternoon.  One by one they began sharing what impressed them the most about the movie.  Lots of good comments were made.  Interestingly enough, everyone was now speaking my kind of English.  Then slowly the conversation shifted to talking about cultural norms and constraints that make life challenging in the context of marriage and family life.  The conversation became lively and at times heated.  Everyone talking at once was quite acceptable.  The volume rose and fell as the conversation ebbed and flowed.  The American grandmother remained silent.  Well on the outside, that is.  My heart was burning within me.  I had so much to say, but could not get a word in anywhere.  So I kept on praying and watching and listening.

An hour and a half after the conversation began, it finally started winding down.  By this time three ladies had left the table.  At long last, the American grandmother saw an opening and took it.  "Would it be possible for an old Grandmother to say something?" I asked.  They were eager to hear what I had to say, but chided me on calling myself "old" until I told them my age.  And here is what I said, more or less in its entirety.

"I've enjoyed eating with you and listening to your conversation.  We have lived here in Cameroon for 25 years now, but we are still learning things about your culture.  I've learned new things tonight.  There are a number of things I would like to say regarding what we have been talking about.  First of all, my sister here recently asked the question 'How to you know when you have reached the breaking point?'  [Referring to marriage]  She posed a good question.  There is an easy answer for her question.  Any of us who have been married for six weeks or longer have grounds for divorce."   There was a small outburst of agreement, followed by one lady saying "This is wisdom.  Let's be quiet and listen to what she has to say."  And so I continued, "The secret of marriage is to find grounds for marriage, and to go right on finding those grounds for the rest of our lives.  

"You have talked a lot about culture tonight.  I've heard you talk about the English culture and the French culture.  You've talked about the Cameroonian culture, and even about African culture.  I know you each have your various tribal cultures as well.  I too have a culture that I came from.  My American culture is quite different from your culture.  But I'm not very interested in culture.  For those of us who know the Lord as our Savior, we are in God's culture.  I'm very interested in God's culture.  If we want to truly follow Him, we need to get to know His culture and follow His culture more and more as time goes by.  

"There has been much discussion about how to handle money matters in marriage.  You talked about having a joint bank account vs individual accounts.  Everyone had her opinion and there were many conflicting opinions.  But the only opinion that counts is God's.  What does God's culture say about handling money in the context of marriage?  God does have something to say about that.  We need to study His Word and find out how to live in His culture in this area of our lives.  

"You asked what happens to the children when a marriage is over?  Do they go with the mother or stay with the father?  We need to find out what God's culture has to say about that.   

"Marriage is not easy.  You have all been married longer than six weeks.  You already know that.  I have been in my marriage for 47 years now.  And it is never easy.  That's because I made a very big mistake on my wedding day.  I married a sinner.  I didn't know that at the time, but six weeks later I had already discovered my mistake.  But you see, my husband also made a very big mistake on our wedding day.  He too married a sinner.  Do you know what marriage is?  It's two sinners who agree before God and in the sight of man to live together in holy wedlock.  And if God blesses that union with children, now you have a whole bunch of sinners living together under the same roof, doing what sinners do best...sinning every single day.  

"In the movie War Room, we learned that in marriage we are to pray God's blessing for our spouse.  Ladies, my sinner does not deserve God's blessing.  Honestly, though I am a sinner, he is a much bigger sinner than I am.  You ladies know that we women are not nearly as bad as our husbands are.  Is that true?  Actually it's not true.  Many times I am the bigger sinner.  

"When Becky read us that wonderful list of "Ten Things a Christian Husband Should Do For His Wife", I thought I was in a dream.  What would it be like to have been married to that kind of husband for these last 47 years?  But ladies, let me tell you something, my husband has never done even one of those things on Becky's list.  Not once, not ever.  And yet, because I am living in God's culture, I have one choice.  I must keep right on praying that God will pour out a blessing on him, even on my birthday when he once again forgets my special day.  My sinner does not deserve God's blessing, and frankly I don't really want to ask God to bless him.  But guess what?  If I am serious about living in God's culture, getting to know Him better and better, becoming more like Him, then I have one choice.  I MUST pray God's blessing on him EVEN on my birthday when he has forgotten what day it is."

Well, the sermon didn't end there, but perhaps that's enough for now.  You get the idea.  Eating weird, unappealing, tasteless, excessively hot food that is not to my liking, is the least I can do in order to be used by my Lord to impact the lives of others.  That's why we are here.  No sacrifice is too great to make for Him.